Talking: I'm horrifically shy. When I want to say something I usually agonize over it for like twenty minutes before I say it. I only talk to my friends because when I don't they think I'm sulking.
Making Friends: Oh my god. I can't talk to people I don't know. I just freeze up and my voice cracks up and conversation fizzles after a few awkward comments about the weather.
Talking to Boyfriend's Family: AAAAHHHHHHH. Especially family dinners, when Boyfriend's Brother's Girlfriend is there. She's extremely talkative and charming and attractive and I look thoroughly inadequate compared to her while I'm perching awkwardly and refusing to speak. Blech.
Drawing Pictures of People: Just don't ask me. I'm bound to offend you. I can't make you unattractive, but in some cases I make you too attractive and then it doesn't look like you. So much pressure that ends in definite disappointment.
Playing Guitar/Singing in Front of People: I hate being criticized. It's really bad for my ego. And I like singing and playing guitar for fun but in front of people I freeze up and want to vomit.
People Who Get REALLY into the Music They're Playing/Listening To: Just awkward. Especially when it's men in their forties who look like they're having a personal moment.
People Reading my Writing: Ironic I have a blog. But when I write something weird I think when people read it they think I need therapy or something, and I'm not fucked up, I promise.
Mostly.
I have a feeling ALL of this will improve slowly, with time. (I mean, except those men having a personal moment with their, um, instruments.)
ReplyDeleteI am pretty much painfully shy. And a teacher?
I am terrified at the thought of people reading my writing. And publishing a book?
ugh, and I'm doing that "when you're older, you'll understand" thing. old people, bleh.