The Facts

I am six feet tall

and too many feet wide

I cannot paint my own nails,

and I have never had a manicure

I have short hair,

in a color I hate

I play too many instruments

and collect marbles and the pull tabs

off soda cans

I like the smell of sharpies,

and gasoline, and rain,

and grass

I collect memories,

and sift through them,

only remembering prize specimens

I watch PBS

when I'm home alone

I am not a virgin,

and I haven't been for a long time,

for better or for worse

I smell like tea,

and roses, and cat pee,

and coffee, and freshly baked bread

My feet are bigger than Boyfriend's,

and twice as ugly

I'm mediocre at a lot of things,

and talented at nothing.